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“No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
― Maya Angelou
There’s something awesome about being in our 20s that make us feel invincible.
Like nothing can go wrong.
I guess it’s the youthful energy coupled with a sense of maturity that make us go after life. After all, it’s the time when everything is birthed, hopes and dreams start taking shape, and young lives get shot forth into the future.
Sadly, along with hopeful expectation, also come doses of reality. One of which is that we’re supposed to make it out in the world, our world, whatever that may be, striking it out independently minus the familiarity and support of home.
Yes indeed, it’s the time to grow up and get going.
What we do in our 20s can make or break us, and depending on how we get out of it, will certainly impact the rest of our adult lives.
It’s in that vein that I share my reflections of what might have been for me, while also looking ahead with expectant hope that even though mistakes were made, there’s still so much of life to be discovered and taken hold of, but the key is to keep moving forward while not getting stuck looking back.
I WISH I DIDN’T BUY STUFF I COULDN’T AFFORD
There’s this wildly popular skit from Saturday Night Live from 2006 that highlights the funny but relevant attitude of the majority of people in society today.
Amply called ‘don’t buy stuff you can’t afford’ it parodies an infomercial for a FREE financial self-help book with the same name, targeting families who tend to buy stuff they couldn’t afford.
I remember watching it back then and laughing at and with the couple on TV as they were confused with the message; one since they’ve been used to buying stuff on credit, and two how it felt weird to NOT buy stuff.
It really resonated with me then but unfortunately didn’t bother me enough to alter my behavior.
Here I am ten years after seeing the skit, only after getting mad recently that I realized, WTH, why am I still ‘buying stuff’? Trying to impress people I don’t know with stuff I don’t own, bought with money I don’t have? WTH? seriously?
That’s when I really got mad.
I wish I had known in my 20s that being in debt for stuff is not only stupid but also leads to financial stress and chaos that ultimately limit how we get ahead in life.
I WISH I TRACKED MY MONEY MORE
I remember when I started earning my own money, feeling the paper, putting it in my pocket, watching it leave my pocket as I exchanged it for stuff, food, experiences, etc.
It never occurred to me that once the money got spent, it hardly ever comes back. Well if all you do is work for money that is, which is what I’ve been doing all my life.
I also remembered feeling anxiety during times when I didn’t have any money in my pocket while thinking to myself, if I hadn’t spent it yesterday, I woulda, coulda, shoulda….
I guess the result of a carefree lifestyle is just that, we never really care about the money we make and squander since we’re easy come easy go.
One thing I realize now, after getting on my debt free journey, is that money management really boils down to discipline.
Since our family started this journey to financial independence, we committed to finding out how our money comes in and where it goes after it goes out.
Part of the journey is maturing into having a ‘grown up’ mentality that in order to win with money, we have to be responsible in keeping more of it for ourselves and our future, instead of watching it fly out into a vacuum.
I wish I started being more aware of my money in my 20s; it would have saved me a lot of pain and wasted time trying to recover lost ground.
I WISH I CREATED A BUDGET AND STUCK TO IT
I remember in my younger years when my Mom and later on my wife Moira, mentioned the ‘B’ word, it evoked a sense of cynicism and deprivation.
I always had this notion of why can’t I indulge myself when I worked hard for my money? Why would a budget try to hinder my fun?
I had such a negative opinion about the “budget” that I made sure it would never be used in my own family ever.
Needless to say, after reading, learning, and being humbled as I realized the true purpose of a budget, in that all it does is to show a financial picture, from when the money comes in and where it goes out; It was actually liberating.
Since being properly re-acquainted with how to prepare the budget, how to use it, and how to stick to it; Moira and I now feel empowered and responsible for using our money wisely as compared to when we still lived in the dark and in denial about financial responsibility.
I wish I had known in my 20s that the sooner I became fiscally responsible, the sooner we can experience life unburdened by the fear of being in need.
I WISH I MADE PERSONAL AND FINANCIAL GOALS
As I’ve mentioned earlier, I grew up having a carefree attitude and never really thought about my future. Even when I got married and settled down, my attitude of self-indulgence carried over, except now there were two of us having the same mindset.
I remembered seeing our friends we grew up with turn into doctors, engineers, professionals; all because they were disciplined and set goals.
They saw what they wanted their future to look like, set their goals; re-prioritized their lives, and worked toward achieving their dreams.
The light bulb never really turned on for me back then ever. Only until seeing how successful our friends turned out, how they reached their goals, and when they shared their journey on what it took for them to get there, did it finally sink in.
They say that hindsight is always 20/20, but boy how I wished I had a crystal ball back then, I would’ve surely made better choices, set some perfect goals, and changed my immediate future.
Sadly we are dealt the cards we’ve been given and we have to make the most of it.
The good news is, all is not lost, while we live and breathe, there is still hope. The only folks who are hopeless, are the ones buried six feet under. Gosh darn it, if we can be mad enough to think that if other folks can make it, why the heck can’t we?
I wish I learned in my 20s that if I had set goals, worked and sacrificed early on, that the future would have been much easier for me and my family.
I WISH I PAID ATTENTION TO HOW I SPENT MY TIME
Time, the most precious commodity we can’t afford to lose. It’s so important that once it ticks away it never ever comes back.
I confess that I spent half of my years squandering the time not really having any direction. Only until meeting and marrying my wife, did I start having a semblance of concern toward how, where and why I spent my time.
We all grow up being selfish, having a me first attitude, and the only way our attitudes change as we mature is when we start having relationships that inspire us, that force us to reflect on where we want to be in our future.
The saying “show me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are” is so true. We tend to become like the people we associate with.
Time sowed into healthy, positive and nurturing relationships cause us to be hopeful and excited about our future. Adversely, running with the wrong crowd could ultimately end up damaging it.
We only have a few hours in a day, the more we mindfully plan how to spend them, the more it will benefit not only our lives but also those near and dear to us.
I wish I learned in my 20s that time is the most important gift I have. I could either spend it to better myself or waste it away and negatively affect my future.
IN HINDSIGHT
Knowing what I know now, I would have made responsible decisions, spent my time in meaningful relationships, and invested my time wisely to ensure a better future for me and my family.
Did you have mistakes that you wish you handled better? Any uplifting or positive comments you can share with us all? Please drop us a line by commenting or sending an email at thedebtfreejourney@gmail.com
Peace and Blessing to you all.
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